OCD or negligence?

 I cannot keep loosing things. I've gotten better with age, but twentyfuckingseven years of this??!!!! I am too old to be loosing things. I wish I could say I misplaced a lip gloss, or toothbrush. No. It's my $4,000 uninsured panther watch + $3000 trinity diamond ring this time. I'm not going to say they're lost... let's NOT manifest that. It's misplaced. I am quite literally praying to Saint Anthony and committing to being a better person if my prayers are answered. I want to be a better person, regardless of loosing my watch and ring. This isn't the first time I've "misplaced" my Cartier jewelry. I lost my first piece- a love ring- that my Dad generously paid for. I only wore it for 4 weeks before throwing it away.... yeah, I'm convinced that it is in the bottom of my whole foods bag in a dumpster somewhere. 

I don't want to put this negative energy out there that I've lost the watch. It's not possible. I've taken such good care of my watches and can tell you that I was wearing it with my ring on Sunday, the 3rd, whilst running errands. I remember buying a lock for my gym locker this day, specifically because I was wearing my trinity ring and watch and I wanted to workout. I was using my Louis Vuitton bag this day and could have sworn I put the watch and ring in this bag. It has to be in that bag. I came back to the apartment Sunday night and showered immediately. I want to reread my texts on this day to see if maybe that sparks a memory. Please Saint Anthony!!!!!!

I read somewhere not that long ago that loosing things is a common tendency of OCD. I convinced myself that I have OCD instead of being negligent. I also pick my scalp and am obsessed with sanitizing. I don't have the counting and obsessively checking if things are locked traits. I've never been diagnosed by a doctor, so this could totally be me rationalizing my negligence. To credit myself, I've only lost my keys once while living in NY (I've also lost my license, credit cards, amongst several other things.)

Pray for me. Please.

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